(What I was listening to when I wrote this: "Hard To Explain" - The Strokes)

Have you ever had a best friend who everyone — friends, family, co-workers, people at the grocery store, your priest, etc. — thinks you’re in love with, even though — let me make this clear — YOU’RE NOT?!

Welcome to my world; one where I have a very close friendship with a person of the opposite sex that yields no “benefits.” But that hasn’t stopped me from taking a whole bunch of crap for it. There are some of you who will feel sympathy reading this column. Others will think I’m overreacting. But the way things are going, most of you will likely fall in line with everyone else — store clerks, firemen, babies, dogs, etc. — and wind up believing I truly am in love with my friend. And I’ve given up all hope in changing your minds.

A few weeks ago, I reached my breaking point. All of the speculation made me want to pull out my hair (if I actually had hair). Then, I began to wonder whether everyone was right and if two people of the opposite sex friends could actually be just friends.? There were several steps that pushed me to that point got me to this place.

Step 1: The winks. Let me clue you into in on the idiotic world of us men. Any time my female friend and I are around my buddies and she’s not looking, I get the winks, or what I like to call it the “Yo, you hittin’ that?” face. You shake your head no, but they never believe you. At some point, when the winks keep coming, even from the bartender at your favorite pub, it starts to get under your skin.

Step 2: Her boyfriend hates me. It must be in the guy code somewhere. The better a friend you are to her, the more her boyfriend will hate you. If she comes home at 1 a.m. because she’s out at the club with you and your friends, he’s going to hate you. If she spends from the hours of 7 to 8 p.m. on the couch text messaging you back and forth, he’s going to hate you. And if you one-up him with a present on her birthday or a holiday, he probably should hate you. My bad, bro.

Step 3: Her mom gets in on it. If you have a close friend on Facebook, there’s a chance their that her mom will friend request you and send you a message about how she knows you’re in love with her daughter. Well, maybe that last part only happened to me. As I recall, the message read something like, — “I have a pretty good idea of how you feel about? word missing my daughter, and I think it’s great.” I kind of figured what would come next …

Step 4: Your friend asks you the most awkward question in the history of your friendship. With tears in her eyes, she says, “Are you in love with me?” This was going to be delicate situation. I love my best friend. She’s probably the closest person to me in my life right now. I stuttered a bit as she went on to say, “Just tell me you’re not in love with me and that you never will be so we can move on.” That’s when I realized a hard truth about friendship: One of the best things about having a close friend like that is how easy it is to talk with them about anything … unless it involves them.

I was honest. I told her that I’d considered the possibility of us being in a relationship but that I didn’t have romantic feelings for her. I said that even if I did, it wouldn’t matter. She’s my best friend, and that’s exactly what I need her to be right now.

So, can two friends of the opposite sex be JUST friends? I now believe the answer is no. Because even if they are just friends in terms of how they interact with each other, there will always be people out there who think they are or should be together. Just recently my mom met my best friend and loves her. My guess is that soon she’ll be joining everyone else — my roommates, the guy at the coffee shop, the mailman, etc. — in thinking love is right around the corner. And that’s led me to a new process of  steps so I don’t reach my breaking point again …

Step 1: Stop caring what everyone else thinks.